As one of the early arrivals of the Baby Boom generation, I grew up in a middle-class family where my siblings and I had no clue what being poor was like, even though we couldn’t have everything we wanted (think piano lessons but no pony). Our parents didn’t talk to us about the war, or about the Great Depression that preceded it, but we could tell they weren’t as carefree as we were.
Do you remember the term, “Depression mentality”? As I got older, I often teased and accused my parents of always thinking poverty was just around the corner; they didn’t spend money too easily and they never threw anything away. My father was warning about another Depression until the day he died, but I and my fellow Boomers were too busy creating seismic shifts in our nation’s culture to think what it was like to not have enough.
Today, that concept is called a “scarcity mentality” and it has created a huge impact on many of us, not only those who experienced poverty but even those who didn’t. Scarcity refers to the belief that there is not enough to go around, whether that’s money or food or jobs or even happiness. Focusing on what is lacking can create anxiety, stress and fear, and creates a cycle of self-limiting thoughts and behaviors. It can feel downright irresponsible not to worry, but it doesn’t feel good and often doesn’t really help change anything. This election cycle has highlighted the concept of scarcity through the grim warnings constantly issued by the Republican candidate, as he tried to convince voters that the end is near unless they vote for him. He had to come up with lots of false information about immigrants, and inflation, and crime, so he could present himself as the only one who could fix the problems he amplified and distorted. Sadly, many of his followers were not interested in the truth about these subjects, but just sought the comfort of believing that he would fix everything.
So, now that the nation has made its decision, what can we do to shift into an attitude of abundance? You may laugh to hear me say that, since not having enough money is a very powerful part of a scarcity mentality, but I’m not saying money doesn’t matter, or that we all couldn’t happily find a use for more of it. I’m saying that the happiness and satisfaction we feel in our lives comes from other sources than strictly financial ones.
You may have known relatively wealthy people who seemed to keep striving to obtain more, to seek validation through their possessions and bank accounts, to find fault with minor imperfections in their world. Or, if you’re lucky, you may know some people who are happy no matter what happens, who may struggle to make ends meet but seem so full of a joyous appreciation of life’s small blessings. Do you have the courage to challenge yourself to see how much you have that you can give to another?
Take immigrants, for example. They have enriched and developed our nation since the first ones arrived (the white Anglo-Saxon Protestants, perhaps?). They continue to make our country productive and put food on our tables. It is well-documented that they are most often hired to do the jobs that our citizens refuse to do; it is a fact that our economy would nosedive if they were all deported. Yet that drastic, dramatic action appeals to the fears of those who think immigrants want to take things away from them. Finding a more successful way to incorporate immigrants, rather than to expel them, is the way our nation and its economy will grow and prosper, yet many of us fear, hate, and turn our backs on them.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that there really would be enough to go around if we could stop holding on so tightly to walls, and prejudices, and grudges against our fellow humans. If we worked together for the common good, we would actually be more secure, more comfortable and safer than we are now. It’s hard to sleep when you’re worried about who’s trying to break in and steal your stuff. I know it really can happen, but the mistrust that some people feel is way out of proportion and can become entrenched as a defensive barrier against life.
So, as the votes are counted, and half of everybody is crying and the other half is cheering about who won or didn’t win, please try to remember that the folks you deal with daily are just trying to find happiness like you are. We are definitely not perfect, and neither are they, but we’re all humans who are longing to feel safe and loved.
Imagine your surprise when you offer a stranger some kindness and acceptance, and instead of your total amount of love getting smaller, it gets bigger from sharing it. What if their gratitude gives you a warm feeling, even though you’re the one who gave something away?
I guess maybe love really IS a pie, but it’s a magical pie that creates another piece as soon as you share one. Your plate will never be empty.
Susan Hull is a retired clinical psychologist, a horse trainer, and an Independent voter who sometimes gets discouraged by human nature, until it serves some pie and shows how awesome it can be, every now and then.
