Don’t Count Your Poachers Before They Shoot
Game wardens are always looking for a good “set”. What is that, you ask? A “set” is a place where game wardens sit and surveil for poachers. It’s usually a spot behind a gate that affords a nice view of an area where there’s a decent chance somebody might come along and shoot a deer off the road at night.
You remember that David Alan Coe song about the “perfect country and western song”? Well, my friend Jim Linderman, had a set one night where he very well may have had “the perfect set”.
To start with, the moonlight was almost as bright as daylight. Before he got settled into his spot, Jim saw what game wardens would consider a classic road hunting buck: a ten point somewhere in the 115-120 B&C range, grazing along the side of the road. As luck would have it, he had a key to a nearby gate, so he shut off his lights and headed for a hiding spot behind it.
From inside the comfy confines of his patrol truck perched high on a hill, he could see that buck on the roadway below. Time to watch and wait.
There wasn’t a lot of traffic. About every hourand- a-half or so, he’d see vehicle lights in the distance that would meander their way to his location but not so much as slow down when they got near that buck.
Hours went by. It was getting late – or early, rather. Jim watched until the buck tired of eating and just laid down by the side of the road. Even better. Like a squirrel running in front of a dog on a walk in the park, the situation was such that no self-respecting road-hunting hill country- redneck could pass it up. It was bigger than them.
Just as Jim’s head began to bob around 3:00 a.m., headlights appeared on yon horizon, and they were headed his way. As the vehicle, a truck, neared the deer, the driver hit the brakes and slowed down. This had to be the one. The truck went on up the road a ways and stopped. As he watched through binoculars, Jim began to narrate in his head what he knew was happening inside the truck.
“OK… they stopped, their getting out the gun and they’re gonna turn around and come back. Time to get ready.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of what could become a problem.
“$#1+!! – more lights!”
Headlights appeared from the same direction the truck had come from, and they too, were headed toward the deer. It didn’t take long for Jim to realize this new vehicle was a semi-truck. Meanwhile, the first truck had turned around and was slowly headed back.
“They’re waiting for the semi to go by…” Jim swung his binoculars toward the buck. It was still bedded down. He stayed glued to it as the semi neared.
200 yards…… 100….. 50…. 20... 10.. “NOOOOOO!”
SMACK! The buck sprung up and leapt right in front of the semi. Jim not only saw it all; he heard the impact. The driver never slowed down. When the potential poachers drove by moments later, there wasn’t much of that buck left for them to look at, so they turned back around and went on their way.
OK, so there were no trains, drunk mamas getting’ out of prison or anything like that, but it was nonetheless almost a perfect set. Heck, it’d probably even make a right fine sad country song if someone took the time to sit down and put some music to it. Anyway, even though things didn’t turn out the way he wanted them to, the night’s events confirmed what Jim already knew – don’t count your poachers before they shoot.
