Choose Your Friends Wisely
So, I was going to write about the end of the general season for white-tailed deer, but that’s really a sad subject for some. We have enough sadness in the world these days, so I won’t pile on.
Indeed, this week’s column should be lighthearted and, hopefully, provide a chuckle or two. After careful consideration, I figured boat ramps will do.
I guess I got my first inkling that boat ramps were a problem when I was in high school. I went waterskiing with some friends one fine summer day, and after we had all the fun in the sun we could stand, we headed back in.
When we got to the dock by the ramp, my friend Ray handed me the keys to his truck and told me to back the trailer down.
I walked up the long, steep ramp to the parking lot, retrieved the truck and backed on down without any problems. Ray scooted the boat on the trailer and secured it, and I drove back up the ramp.
Just as I reached the top, I saw a truck and trailered boat being backed down in the lane next to me. I didn’t think much of it, until I noticed that there was no one in the truck.
In my rearview mirror, I saw the truck and trailer jack-knife into the lane behind me and slide sideways a while until the whole rig came to a screeching, scrunching halt.
A frantic man, screaming and hollering, ran up the ramp while another frantic man, who I assumed should have been at the wheel of that truck, ran down.
I figured they had probably been friends at some point in their lives — like maybe right before that truck started down that hill — but that sure didn’t seem to be the case when they met at the mangled mess in the middle of the ramp.
I don’t have any hard facts or statistics or anything like that, but I feel pretty confident that the boat ramp has been responsible for quite a few bumps in the road of many social and familial bonds.
If you don’t believe me, just grab you a beverage or two and a lawn chair and watch one for a while. You’ll hear a lot of, “Come on back, come on back… to the left… NO — you’re other left! Easy… easy… STOP! What the @#&^ are YOU DOING???”
In my game warden career, I saw it all. There were a couple of dudes at the south ramp in Port Mansfield years ago, who successfully launched their boat, but unfortunately submerged their truck in the process.
At Saxet Lake in Victoria, I saw a brand-new jet ski fly off the back of the trailer and slide over a few feet of unforgiving asphalt before coming to rest with a clunk at the water’s edge.
At the Packery Channel boat ramp in Corpus, a group of guys slid a big fancy offshore boat partially off the trailer in the middle of the ramp.
It probably would have slid all the way off if it hadn’t been for the pointy skegs on the bottom of those three outboards on the back crumpling up to provide enough friction for a “safe” stop.
Game wardens aren’t exempt, either. I know I’m not the only one to start out a day, or night, of work on the water by realizing the sluggish departure from the boat ramp was caused by the failure of a responsible party to make sure the plugs were properly installed in the boat before the launch.
Crazy stuff. So, what’s the moral here? I don’t know… maybe VOTE and, when handing over the keys to your boat or truck at the boat ramp, choose your friends wisely!
Jon Brauchle spent 29 years as a game warden.
