Anyone who has been married, or had a roommate, or had kids, or grew up in a family, or had a cellmate knows it’s not that easy to get along with another human for very long without some kind of friction.
From chores, to picking shows to watch, to setting room temperature, to putting the cap on the toothpaste, we humans tend to think our way is the best, and we will insist on our way if given the chance.
For better or worse, we also happen to be interdependent, which means we need each other in order to survive. We gather into towns and cities and nations for survival, support, and the exchange of goods and services, all of which require that we figure out how to get along without killing each other, or even to live in harmony, for the best possible outcome.
Logically, this plan should work if we recognize that we are not always going to agree and therefore come up with a system for making decisions.
Thus, government was born. We all chip in our taxes and we elect people to figure out how to run things. Part of running things includes rules and regulations, since we have to agree on things like stopping at stop lights or else we’re back to killing each other, if only by accident.
And we must agree on penalties for not abiding by the rules and regulations, since human nature dictates that some of us aren’t going to cooperate. But nevertheless, most of us will cooperate, as long as we think the rules are fair.
Here’s where human nature throws a monkey wrench into the works. If we feel like we’re being forced to agree to something, we resist, even if the thing itself is not that bad. When it becomes clear that one side is not going to be able to make the other side change, we must move into the realm of negotiation.
While in the middle of negotiating, the struggle can be intense, but in general, if negotiation is done properly, after a compromise is reached each side feels it got an adequate amount of what it wanted.
Let’s look at the brouhaha that’s going on regarding the Noise Ordinance in the City of Bandera. By the time you’re reading this, the City Council will have met to explore the need to change the ordinance that is currently in place.
Councilman Tony Battle chaired a committee made up of two council members, two local bar owners, and two city residents, who came up with suggested improvements to the current Noise Ordinance, based on the fact that the current ordinance was both too vague and too restrictive.
Ironically, in the social media firestorm that erupted when the proposal was put to a vote prematurely, Battle has been accused of trying to sneak in a more restrictive ordinance that is designed to destroy the live music presence in Bandera.
A bad ordinance that is never enforced is NOT preferable to a better ordinance that is enforceable.
The reassessment of the current ordinance was not triggered by complaints about music noise, but rather by a request from the owners of the only bar that was actually trying to follow the confusing existing rules.
In order to offer live music to their customers without violating the current ordinance, they had to apply, and pay, for a “special permit” covering Friday and Saturday night every week. They asked the City Council for relief from this burdensome and expensive regulation.
Here is where the process went off the rails. Instead of a thoughtful, transparent attempt to disseminate accurate information to the entire community, and to gather input from all the stakeholders, somehow the proposal ended up as an action item for the council two weeks ago, apparently without the venue owners or even some of the ordinance committee members being informed.
The proposal was defeated, but not before conspiracy theories mushroomed about the plot to destroy live music in Bandera. Even a town hall meeting hosted by Mayor Rebecca Gibson did not clarify anything, except to demonstrate that the people who turned out were polite and respectful (despite the provocative “welcome” by the City Marshall who warned about “lynch mobs” and “pitchforks”).
I think we need a do-over (my late husband would have said, “Let’s take a mulligan”). We need a slow and transparent process, with much measuring and clarifying and site visits.
Everyone needs the opportunity to hear for themselves what the music would sound like at different decibel readings taken 50 feet beyond the property line at different venues.
I sincerely hope cooler heads will have prevailed at the council meeting, and that this discussion about improving Bandera for all its residents can continue in a reasonable way that honors the true spirit of compromise: that we’re all fans of Bandera and we’re all in this together, residents and tourists and bikers and cowboys and rockers and kids and grandmas alike.
Susan Hull is a retired clinical psychologist, an Independent voter, and proud to be occasionally referred to as “the voice of reason” by folks on both sides of an issue. Even married couples were able to use logic from time to time during her years in clinical practice.
